Through my eyes

This whole chapter has been a big chapter in my life. But there are still important things that I learnt.

If something or someone means so much to you, go ahead, take the plunge.

Don't hold anything back and just go ahead with what you want to do for it, or the other person. Because if you do fail, you will never regret not doing something which you thought you should have done. Instead of saying would have, should have and could have in the end, make it will be, shall be, and can be.

You are not the only determinant of success or failure.

Sometimes you go out of your way to make things happen. But they don't. It may not be your fault, for there are greater forces in life that makes things work. Be it fate, time, chance, or whatever, you might still fail. But falling back to the first lesson, don't leave anything behind.

Love makes the world go round.

My world stopped and came to a screeching halt when things didn't go right. And boy, did it spin round and round when she made me feel like I was invincible. I wasn't able to control anything, or do anything right. Now I will learn that I will try to be in control - of myself.

If you love someone, make that sacrifice for their happiness - even if it was your own.

I love her dearly and for the reason that she cannot stay here and I cannot go back with her, I have to let her go (it's not like I had the luxury of a choice anyway). To be able to pursue her dreams and aspirations, I will let go and let her go in peace. It's the last thing I can give her anyway.

Although I still love her dearly and I cannot do without her, I have to learn. I have to try. I will walk on forward, but I will always look back. I will still think about her, and think about what could have been, but when I awake from the fictitious delusion, each feet will overlap the other toward absolute uncertainty.

**Lastly, I love you, Precious. The words I said to you still stand, you'll never be alone. You'll, in time, be another's Sunshine and Beautiful Flower. The honour of taking care of you, growing old with you, kissing you on your forehead every night as I say goodnight, and waking up to your smile will not be mine. But it was a hell of an honour to be able to do the things I did for you. I never regretted one bit, never will I do. But to walk on without your hand in mine, it's the hardest thing in the world to do, for you mean the world to me. I wanted to write our story chapter by chapter, and never having it to end. But I guess, sadly, the story stops here. I will still write, but not of good things anymore, it will be only of the sad past.

It will be the hardest thing to look into your eyes and smile again. Goodbye, love. Kyay zu par, for everything.