1) Not trying and not knowing if you'll fail or succeed?

2) Giving your best shot and then fail, knowing that after this you'll never have the courage to try again?

I gave it my best shot and again, as the days go by it looks as though I would fail... Just that she hasn't gave me the verdict yet. And I know after this, I will be a changed person. She said I changed, I told her not really, because I still kept the faith. Now it seems as if I am really meant to change. Pardon me, for I am not one to hide my feelings and emotions easily.

Rest in peace, Old James.

Goodbye.