Through my eyes

As night falls and I send her my last sms for the day, I suddenly remember Mom always reminding me that it is better to be loved by somebody than to love somebody. So I thought to myself, that maybe this is why I want to give her my everything, because she only deserves the best, and I hope with this, she would realize that I may not be the best man in the world, but I would be the best I can just for her.

These few days my mood has been really up and down... All over again. Sometimes it repeats itself a few times in a single day. Am I going mad? Am I losing it? Hours of waiting eventually turn to days, and days to weeks, and sadly, weeks to months. I have been waiting for so long... so long. When can I see her again? When can I talk to her, face to face again? When can I hear her sweet voice again? When will I just come undone again and just lose myself... all over again? I don't want to feel that way again... It's too though to go through one more time.

In school today, I find myself dying to see her, but also wishing that I wouldn't. I asked myself why was I having this conflict of thoughts... And I realized that I only want to see her when she wants to see me... I don't want her to have that awkward moment where she feels lost and doesn't know how to react... I just want everything to be good... for her. Also it is because she told me that when she asks to meet me, it will be the day that my dreams will all come true. At least I can still think... I reckon.

It's really really difficult to keep on waiting... But no matter what, I am certain she has already changed my life... And I do hope it's for the better. I will still wait, be patient, all just and only for her. Even if I go insane.